|Sometimes I'm not who I want
to be. Sometimes I do the things I hate the most and turn into the person
I never ever wanted to be. I treat the ones I love as if I didn't really
love them at all and in the process push away the people I need the most.
Sometimes I cast aside that which truly brings me joy in life for whatever
daily distraction that's stressing me out. Sometimes I fall so hard and
so fast that my little world shatters into pieces and I'm left just standing
there thinking, “What just happened?”
Well, none of us are invincible and much to my surprise that means I'm not either. Imagine that! Sometimes I act like I think I'm superwoman but we all have personal sins and dark corners in our hearts. Sometimes the right circumstances bring out the worst in us and it seems like we come apart at the seams. All our worst fears about our shortcomings are laid bare and we hide our faces in shame. I know that in the last month, and throughout my life, I've asked myself, “Is that really in me? Did I really say that? Did I really do that?”
I’d like to think I know why exactly I do the things I hate so much but I can't say that I do. I'm not sure why sometimes it's easy to overcome and why other times I fall flat on my face. I think that part of it is the flesh nature, part of it is the “gravity” of the world and part of it is the blitzkriegs Satan sends our way. But all I really know is that all my life I walk through doors and they close behind me. I can't turn around and walk back through. I may want to so badly that I freeze in my tracks but regardless, I cannot ever go back. When I fall down the only thing to do is get back up and learn my lesson. Staring back at the door over my shoulder, longing to go back to where I was before I fell down never does me any good. And you know what? Through the next door is a better place to be than still sitting on the floor.
Ah, but how do I get off the floor? Grab a hand…or two…or three. Never forget that God is always waiting for you to open up and let it out. When you draw near to Him, He draws near to you. Then there are your friends; they're not perfect but they love you and are worth more than gold. When they extend a hand or offer a shoulder don't shut them out. And don't forget your family. They can be so frustrating but they're the only family you have and just what you need sometimes. Got that? Good. Now, when I'm back on the floor, remind me of what I said, will you?